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Safe and fun pranks for all ages.
Church Pranks
CHURCH
THE SUNDAY SPECIAL
This prank requires a little skill, some nerve, and a lot of luck to pull off. First, collect a number of small coupons. Perhaps the best way to do this is to find an appropriate one on the internet and print a couple dozen copies. This can be a coupon for condoms if you’re going to a Catholic church, or a coupon for rosary beads for a Lutheran one, maybe even a coupon for Wiccan healing crystals, whatever makes you giggle. If it’s your church, then this is where the luck comes in because you’re going to have to dispense these without getting caught. Put them in the programs, in the hymnals, or on the pews. If it’s not your church, then dress nicely, hold a Bible in one hand, and dispense the coupons with the other. You’ll probably get a few good laughs in before God smites you.
SAVE ME
Here’s a cute prank that will have even the devout going, “Awwww.” This is for new parents. Yes, that’s right, already an opportunity to manipulate your child for your own amusement! On the day of their baptism, instead of the traditional white dress, put your baby in swim trunks or a swimsuit and arm floats. Take a black marker to the floats and write “Save Me!” Sure, the grandparents will cry about the lost photo opportunity, but chances are even your pastor or priest has a sense of humor.
NOT QUITE ANGELS
Here’s a fun prank to do in the spring when the weather’s too nice to be sitting in church anyway. The day before church, collect all the bugs you can. Flies can be caught by using a canister trap, then take off the lid and release them into a box. Moths are also nice because of their increased visibility. If you’ve got them, catydids are the best of all because of how large and obnoxious they are. (We all have a little of the devil in us, but try to restrain yourself from bringing anything that stings, or you might have more than God to answer to.) Place all of your flying friends in a small box, and tuck it inside your coat or purse. Before the sermon starts, but after they’ve closed the doors, discretely lower your box to the floor and remove the lid. Within the seconds the people around you will be shifting uncomfortably, and within minutes the whole congregation will be swatting and swearing under their breath.
SINGING IN TONGUES
You can change the ballsiness of this prank as easily as raising or lowering your voice. Go to your church with your family, or go to a new church by yourself or with equally deviant friends. Every time a hymn starts, listen for the melody then toss back your head, roll your eyes, and start singing along in gibberish. The more of you the better, because the disharmony will be easier to hear among all the other voices. If you do this with your family, you can sing low and likely just get a smack on the back of the head. If you do it where you are a stranger, sing out loud and listen to the other churchgoers falter as they try not to stare. Mutter through the call and response, and improve your act with every song until your head is lolling and your body is shaking. After the final “Amen,” snap upright, open your eyes, look at your hands, then look toward God, cross yourself, and walk out.